thursday

Today i ate;

shreddies and milk

2 chocolate biscuits and a banana (breaktime)

ham sandwich, cup soup yoghurt, satsuma, special k bar (lunchtime)

sticky lime chicken, mash vegetables, diet coke

coffee

Revision

Gosh it is such a long time since I posted here. Things have not been going too well, think I have been beating myself up for gaining a bit of weight, and a bit depressed to be getting back to work. Plus our precious peace and quiet have been disturbed by no 1 son being home from uni after 3 years! Love him to bits, but he is a messy, noisy git- with nocturnal habits!


Eeting has gone to pot, so blogging here might help.

****Update****

I've just realised that it's about a month since I last posted. I just don't feel the need to blog about eating so much any more, which I think is actually a good sign. I really feel like the IE thing is so embedded that I don't need it as much as I did at the beginning.

I have had some family worries over the past month or so which I won't go into here, and I have noticed a lot about how emotional issues affect my eating. When something upsets me, I lose my appetite completely. Then a day or so later; my 'hunger' can be uncontrollable. Except it's not, because I now know the difference between 'real' hunger and 'phantom' hunger. So if I am in the right frame of mind, I can pause and ask myself what is going on, and hold that inner dialogue.

The book I mentioned in my last post is good and has made me think. But I actually think I am quite far on in my journey, and reading the book has made me realise that.

I had a peaceful break in the Lake District with my o/h which was fantstic for my stress levels. I slept better than I had in weeks!

Still reading!

I am a great reader, I always have to have a book (or two!) on the go, and my latest is 'Shrink Yourself' by Roger Gould.

Now I know I have come a long way in the IE journey, but I think I still am a bit unsatisfied with the fact that I haven't really lost a lot of weight. I have lost about a stone since doing the workshop but since that was a year last October.

I feel I would like to explore any issues that are keeping me 'stuck' at my present weight. I am moving my body a lot more now my ankle is a bit better, but the weight is not really shifting. I like my body, but would like to lose a bit off my tummy to be honest.

I feel there is something holding me back, and this book will I hope help me to find out what it is.

Going out to walk now!

Geneen or Gillian (Mckeith)? I know which I'd choose!

This Saturday I opened my post to find a copy of a Genneen Roth book that I ordered from the US. It's the very first one she wrote, along with some of the members of her workshops, and it is really worth a read.

The reason I like is that we all have different reasons for bingeing, or over eating, whatever you want to call it, and not every person's story 'chimes'. But some do, and this really makes you think. I am a great believer in the sub-concious mind's ability to 'mull over' things, and I often do this with my lesson prep for school. I'll start thinking about a topic for a lesson and then leave it to 'ferment' for a couple of days. Suddenly a really good idea about the lesson will pop into my mind and off I go! What has this got to do with the book, well, I think if you read something and it chimes with your subconcious mind, then sooner or later you will be remimnded of some experience you had as a child, or some reason why you do something, that previously you struggled with.

I've struggled to think of reasons why I overate for so many years, and I think I pretty well have sorted most of it out, but there is still that 'feeling' that I get, that I really can't explain, and there are some experiences in that book that may help me to sort it out.

Also I think that bingeing is the same as putting your fingers in your ears and going 'la, la I'm not listening' to the whole world.

You just want it all to go away.

My funny class.

My class are so funny, they really are. They are so full of enthusiasm, they get exited about spelling and times tables tests, and new geography topics that seem quite boring to me. I love them to bits!

This week, we have been doing a new exercise programme called Activate. (Val Sabin) It is 10 minutes at the start of the day and 5 minutes before afternoon lessons. It's a mixture of aerobic, and brain-gym like exercises, and we use a DVD. I do the exercises too, and so do my TAs. The kids absolutely love it, and it seems to have a calming effect on them, conversley, they seem a bit more alert- as some of them are inclined to be a bit yawny first thing.

It's made me be bit more keen to exercise which is also a good thing!

Last Week.

The last week of my holiday is now over, and I'm trying not to get that 'sinking feeling' about going back to work!

I have had a great week. Met up with forum friends, ad we had a lovely Moroccan meal in town, and an impromptu belly dance from the waitress! We all seemed to hit it off really well, and hopefully we can all meet up again soon. The food was interesting, It was dark, and hard to see what you were eating, but it all tasted really nice. Even the chick peas, which I didn't realise were there until I had had a couple of bites. (Usually I avoid them, as I hate pulses!)

My daughter and I had a fun day out in town again Thursday, I took her to see Hairspray for her 25th birthday which she loved.

Then the weekend in Belfast (see picture!) went really quickly. A Lebanese meal was an interesting experience, and I think I managed to not overeat at all until Saturday night, when I had to wait a bit too long (waiting for other people to be ready) to eat, and ate more of my pizza than I really needed to! Boy did I feel stuffed, and it gave me a tummy ache. It was good in a way because it reminded my of how I dislike that over-full feeling.

I avoided the fry-up both days, a lovely selection of fruit and yoghurt was much more to my taste! Met some lovely (and 1 not so lovely!) old friends, and made some new ones too!

Oh and my ankle (achilles tendonitis) appears to be much better so I am able to walk again!