It's nearly a year since I started Beyond Chocolate, since I attended the workshop that is. It was really a turning point for me, and has given me an entirely new focus, as far as eating is concerned. I don't ever worry about dieting now, obviously my body weight and size is still a concern and I would like to be smaller.
But I have learned over the years, that dieting is not going to ever 'fix' this for me, and so that part of my life is finished. A lot of the 'disordered' eating that I did has also stopped, and this is greatly heartening for me. I used to be so distressed about the fact that I couldn't control myself in certain situations, and really hated myself for what I saw was my 'lack of control'. Of course what I now know is that I had extraordinary control over my food intake for quite lengthy periods of time, and that the 'disordered' phases of my eating were due to this strict regime that I took up at others. Funnily enough, now that I have 'legalised' a lot of my so called 'forbidden foods' I don't actually want them at all! In fact now I am not on a diet, I eat far less sweet stuff, and rubbish than I did when I was dieting. The chocolate bars (Swiss milk chocolate is my favourite at the moment) just sit in the cupboard for weeks on end, and I bought some Madeleines when I did my on-line shop (they looked so tempting) but I have eaten a couple of them, and really they are pretty tasteless and bland. So they will probably end up in the bin! I eat a lot of fruit) as per my last entry, and love salads, fish, white meat and veg.
Even my alcohol intake has gone down, as it sometimes makes me feel a bit grotty in the mornings, I found myself pouring my wineglass full into my husbands glass tonight, as I decided I didn't really fancy it after all.

The one area which I still feel I need to work on is the 'Move' principal. I just can't get motivated now I have started teaching in a new department at school. The hours are even longer, and I can't seem to find the time or energy.