Random thoughts.

Is it me or is this the 'slow blogging' season? Everyone including myself, seems to be having a 'not much to say' time.

I suppose its the in between season time that we are in, the weather was almost springlike for a couple of days but now winter has descended again...

I am on holiday for two weeks so feeling remarkably unstressed and happy. Not that I don't like my job, but it can be very stressful at times and I do resent the amount of hours I have to put in with planning, marking and doing displays etc. So its nice to have a bit of respite.
I have a busy week to look forward to; I am going to a meeting about my daughters future planning on Monday, hairdressers and date in London with BC forum girlies Tuesday, out with Mum and Dad Wednesday, theatre trip with daughter for her birthday Thursday; going to see 'Hairspray' http://www.hairspraythemusical.co.uk/ which is a great feel good show.
Then on Friday I am off for a weekend in Belfast with the charity that I am involved with, we run a conference for parents where they can meet experts and speak to them about the syndrome.

So a very busy time, and no worries about food/dieting for me.

Taking care of myself.

Eating this way has been a big revelation to me, and I have been revelling in it. It really suits me mentally to only eat when I am hungry and only eat the foods I am hungy for.

But it does not suit me physically.

I won't go into the details but I have had a few problems recently because of my diet and lack of roughage. It has been very unpleasant and very painful too.

So now I have realised that I must take care of my body properly by eating more regularly, trying to eat more fiber rich foods, and more fruit and vegetables!

Its taken me a while to realise this, but I can't ignore what my body is saying to mw anymore.

Easter Lunch

A big test of my IE is always lunch round my Mum and Dad's with the family. This year all my closest family were going to be there, and I was really looking forward to it. My 24 year old daughter who lives an hours drive from my Mum's was expecting me to pick her up, but there was a really bad snow storm, so o/h went instead, while I and my son helped round Mum's. I phoned my daughter to tell her that we really thought she should stay over with us as the weather was so bad.
Unfortunately this sent her into complete meltdown. She has a rare genetic syndrome Cornelia de Lange Syndrome http://www.cdls.org.uk/ and this sadly has effects on her behaviour at times .
O/h managed to get her to calm down and come round Mum's after all (she began to say she wouldn't come at all!) I think she enjoyed herself, and had actually agreed when she had calmed down that she would stay over, as the weather was quite dangerous. (Health and safety is one of her 'things!')

However after her cousins had left, and the weather had cleared up, she started to feel really unwell and decided she wanted to go home, so o/h took her (another long drive!).
It was a real shame, and I felt that the day was a bit spoiled, for me anyway. She has developed a real obsession with one of her housemates, and doesn't like to be very long away from him, which is causing quite a few problems for her.

Why I have written all this is to help myself I suppose. It's not easy having a handicapped child, and what people don't realise is that the responsibilty goes on for a lifetime.
Also we have worked really hard for her to be independent and to want to live away from home, so can't really complain when she expresses her independence.

It has made me a bit sad though. But I am not using food to stuff down my feelings like I used to.

Its All Good.

Everything is fine, just not had a lot of time for writing on here, and I haven't has a lot to say.

The long road.

I wonder how long this is going to take? Years I suppose, which is understandable, since I have been struggling with my eating for a lifetime. I use to think that all I wanted was to be a 'normal eater', and I really think that I am that now. But I still have times when I doubt myself, dislike my 'wobbly bits', and tell myself off. So I am not all fixed yet, and there is still more to do.

On the positive side I am moving my body a lot more now, I am really enjoying the walking, and fitting it into my daily activity suits me well. Most days I am doing my 10,000, the light evenings help!

And I think the 'chocolate phase' is nearly finished!

The long road.

This is a very long road to travel I feel. I'ts not that I don't feel I am making progress, that's not the case at all. I'm just wondering when the journey will be over and I'll feel like I've arrived somewhere.

I suppose after a lifetime of dieting and bingeing, I can't really expect anything else.

I have been working on moving my body far more, recently, which is progress for me, as I have been very resistant to this in the past. I have been working on my steps over the last fortnight, and on most days have done the 10,000 I have been aiming for. Now the evenings are getting lighter, it is a bit easier to fit it all in.

Oh, and I think the 'chocolate phase' is more or less over!

Back to Work!

Well half term week went very quickly! Normally I wouldn't mind going back, as I have a lovely class, but we are having a few issues at work at the moment to do with staffing, and things are gettting a bit emotional. I love my collegues (well most of them!) and so this is a tough time. So I am aware that my old comforter; food, is the thing I am tempted to turn to. So long as I know what is going on though, I can cope. I am pleased with the steps that I am doing, most days I have done over 10,000. It's surprising how many steps i can manage to do in my normal daily work, and then just a short walk before it gets dark tops it up to the 10,000.

The chocolate craving seems to be settling down, although I am still enjoying my hot chocolate drinks! I'm sure it's the cold weather we are having that is doing it!

I went to the Beyond Chocolate Drop In last week. A nice crowd of ladies there, and it was lovely to see Sophie again and have a chat, and to meet Clare for the first time.

I said to Sophie, it's like a Slimming Club without the horrible bit; getting weighed! I like the way Sophie structures the 'talk' section of the drop in, in pairs, you talk for 3m then swap, then have 1m chat. It's good, because it stops the 'clique' tendency that can happen in these sort of

meetings, where people who know each other, or have met before, can pal up, and exclude other people.